On Motherhood, 1 Year In

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The first year+ of motherhood has been less about the big milestones of Sophia crawling or standing up or laughing for the first time. Instead, it has been about the daily rituals of laying her down for naps and feeding her, at first, 8 times a day and her growing because I fed her. Of reaching down to pick her up and then set her back down, over and over and over again. My back throbbing at night when I finally lay down at night. The most restful sleep of my life because I’m so deliriously happy. Or because I’m so tired. Probably both.

What would have bored me before-trips to the park, blending baby food, washing baby toys and clothes and every kind of gear imaginable-has filled me a quiet joy. My thoughts surprise me sometimes, all superlatives. Taking care of her is the best job I’ve ever had. These are the most colorful days of my life. Watching Carlos be a dad makes me love him the most I ever have. Sophia has the greatest laugh in the world. Day after day, I will continue to say it: God didn’t have to give me the past 383 days with Sophia, but He did. That is why, if I had to sum motherhood up in one word, I know just what I would say. It’s a gift.

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