Let me begin by saying that I’ve never really had a vision, style-wise for my future wedding. I’ve pictured it a lot since my teenage years, of course, but mostly I’ve just pictured me and my new husband in love. Where, I don’t know. Dancing to what music, I don’t really care. In what kind of dress, I have never figured out. I’d gone to plenty of weddings over the years, but that only served to tell me what I didn’t want my wedding to be like. Not too fancy, but not too casual. Not too expensive but not too cheap. A clear vision for what I actually did want had never emerged.
I hoped after getting engaged it would. Right after we got engaged I told Carlos that maybe we shouldn’t have a wedding and just get married by the state, and he told me that I would regret it later. I thought that he was probably right, so I agreed that, yes, we should have a wedding. However, the planning remained stalled. We reserved the big things like the venue and the church and the photographer but I couldn’t get inspired. I couldn’t even get inspired enough to log into Pinterest to glean some inspiration from there.
We went to a wedding expo in Saltillo a few weeks after we got engaged, and while it was definitely fun (we parked ourselves next to the booth handing out free cocktail samples), I found everything almost laughable. When I entered the expo, they gave me one of those wedding organizer checklists with the timeline with which you’re supposed to reserve everything. There were apparently several things wrong with my philosophy. First, they recommended to start planning a year and a half in advance. There I was at the wedding expo, trying to do everything in 7.5 short months. The horror. And the checklist authors weren’t the only ones. Lots of people have asked me when I’m getting married and after responding “In April,” 90% of the time the follow-up question is “April 2015?” It might just be me, but April 2016 absolutely seems like a lifetime away. I’ll be halfway to 28 by then. No, just no.
Second, they included teeth whitening as a wedding pre-requisite in the checklist. Ok, if you have known me for any amount of time you’ll know that I’m overly concerned with dental hygiene. But to tell a bride that an essential part of planning her wedding is to have an appointment to whiten her teeth seems a tad extreme.
Well, fast-forward a few months and we bought a house! It only added to the fact that spending a lot of time, money, and energy on planning a wedding wasn’t what I wanted. I broached the subject with Carlos again 2 weeks ago and was surprised that he didn’t really want a typical wedding either, mostly just a church ceremony and a really fun party with all of our family and friends. Since we don’t want the party to be in the dead of winter, here’s what we’re going to do:
We’re going to get married by the state in January (I’m pushing for the 3-year anniversary of when we met, Jan. 14 🙂 ) or early February and keep our original wedding date, April 18, for the church ceremony and reception.
Here’s what I want at our wedding:
I want to say my vows to Carlos, to promise to love him forever and to hear him do the same.
I want my parents and my sisters to be there, together with my new, Mexican family.
I want my friends to be present and Carlos’ friends that have become my friends to be there, and to laugh that no one is really understanding each other.
I want to see very clearly that two cultures and two countries and two families and two people are being united, all because God had a wonderful plan.
Where the wedding will be, I still don’t know. Since we hadn’t actually paid anything yet on our original reception venue, we’re ditching it and probably going to rent something like a palapa and have a super casual party. As far as music goes, I really want to dance to banda and norteña music and also American country and pop. And I’m telling myself (to avoid stress) that if I can’t find a wedding dress that I love in the next 5 months, I’ll just buy a nice dress in a different color. I have always loved emerald green. With all of the pressure off now, I might even consider logging into Pinterest for some decorating ideas, but I’m not making any promises. My vision for what I want is pretty clear already.