This is Carlos.
We’ve been together for about 2 years now. If I would have had any prior idea about the number of issues in my life that would come up and I would have to deal with as a result of being in this relationship, I probably would never have given it a shot. But we have both tried to deal with our issues because it makes us individually stronger and stronger together.
One of my issues in these past two years: how to trust Carlos (let me clarify that I’m talking about trust with regards to being a girl and trusting the guy to make the necessary plans for your future together-specifically engagement/marriage).
For the first few months, I trusted him-until his plans stopped aligning with the “perfect” plan in my head.
Until I started comparing our relationship with those of people around me.
Until I got tired of our long-distance relationship.
The list goes on.
After I stopped trusting him (or did I ever trust him to begin with?), we definitely went through a bad season. When you don’t trust someone, you doubt everything they do. You over-analyze. You criticize. You complain. You try to manipulate things to your advantage.
You would think all of this behavior I was demonstrating might have sounded off some sort of alarm in my head to tell my heart it needed a change. Eventually, it did. But not before I blamed Carlos (mostly inwardly, sometimes outwardly) for being the cause of my bad behavior.
What makes all of this even more crazy is that, for the most part, Carlos has been trustworthy. He demonstrates love to me every day, not just in his words, but in his actions. He has shown wisdom, insight, patience, and care in his decision-making. If he says he wants what’s best for me, and is planning our future together by the time frame he thinks is best, then I should have no reason not to believe him.
Finally, and more recently than I care to admit, I had an epiphany. Either I love this boy and completely accept him (which includes his timing), or I shouldn’t keep being his girlfriend. Of course, though, I do have to trust God first. I am trusting that, if there comes a point when Carlos stops doing things out of love and starts making selfish decisions, God will give me a sense of if I should walk away (I’m talking about before marriage).
Carlos has patiently loved me through this whole process of learning to trust him. He has listened and tried to understand my feelings and then calmly explained his. He hasn’t been perfect, no, but he has been steady. For right now, that’s how I know I can trust my boyfriend.