Today I met with a man whose company brings Brazilians to Ireland to learn English. He had seen my advertisement on Gumtree about offering English lessons and contacted me to partner with him because he needs more teachers. His offer of teaching private lessons was really enticing, and would definitely make more money than I make nannying (which, by the way, I am still waiting to go back to-hopefully next week). His last teacher here had 10 students, and if you teach most of them 3 times a week for 10 euro/hour, that’s not bad!
The man said I could start by teaching during my free time (when I’m not nannying), and then gradually add more students and eventually do this full-time. I left the meeting almost certain I would say yes. Why wouldn’t I take this chance to build my career? Why wouldn’t I want to make more money? Why wouldn’t I take this opportunity to show the love of Jesus to Brazilians? However, all afternoon I have become increasingly more anxious about accepting this job because of the busyness and preparation time it would add to my schedule. I prayed about it, and I felt God ask me a simple question:
“Emily, why are you here?”
Rest. I came here to rest. That was the first thing that popped into my head, and it is indeed one of the main reasons I came to Ireland on a working holiday. I wanted to spend lots of time alone with Jesus, to learn how to live unhurried and simply, and to understand that my identity will never be based on what I do (or how much I do), but on who I am. I know my life won’t look like this forever, but I think for now, it’s healthy.
My focus has gotten blurred a lot in Ireland, but I am thankful for a gracious God who keeps making it clear again.